Kids growing up

Kids growing up


I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but here it is:

I have two sons, one is 24 and the other is 16.  They are growing up…well my oldest, Ricky, is grown up, but Benjamin is not far behind him and it makes me so sad. It was hard to see Ricky grow up, but I always had Benjamin to fill in the gap with extra hugs, kisses, and I love you’s.

 I know I must let go, but it is more difficult this time than I imagined.  I kept telling my husband Michael not to get so sad about Benjamin growing up…just enjoy each moment… and I am falling apart more than him right now..I know this too shall pass…

I know we are supposed to give them wings and let them fly.  It sounds good and philosophical, but in reality…it stinks!

This is how I know Benjamin is really growing up and starting to test his wings…my heart is breaking…Ever since he’s been born…I have been in the habit of lying down for a few minutes with Benjamin most nights when he goes to bed and we talk or read or laugh…he under his covers and me on the edge with a sleeping bag.  Sometimes I fall asleep in there and wake up a couple of hours later and go to my bed.  Sometimes I just listen to him breathe…crazy I know.  But it is a kind of contentment…that the world is as it should be.  Ever feel that way?

Well,the light before last, he did not ask me to come in with him, once in a while that happens, but then last night, he didn’t ask me either.  Two nights in a row, I know he is changing and not on purpose, but moving away from me.  It would be easy to just barge into his space, but I do not wish to intrude…it is his space, and I am there by invitation only.  He has done nothing wrong, it is a part of breaking away from me and I understand and do not hold it against him, but I am sad.

As I said, he is my youngest, our last one…it has been years since we cuddled and watched Little Bear, and made a tent in the living room on a rainy day, but those few minutes before he falls asleep each night were my lifeline…holding on so tight, so he doesn’t completely slip into adulthood.  Sorry tears have messed up my typing…so glad for spell check:)

Anyway,  I just have to have faith that my husband and I have raised both boys well and they knowand treasure the value of family and will not depart very far from home. 

I know God has a plan for this part of my life too.  I will continue to hold on to each moment and grab all the loy from each second that I can.  It is changing, but maybe something better will take the place of traditions that are passing??

Life is a bumpy ride, but SO worth it!  Grab all the sticky kisses, muddy hugs and giggling I love you’s  that you can…they are priceless.  God Bless.

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I’ve used AIM products for years and it’s a major factor in my great health. That’s why I’m passionate about sharing AIM products with others. This is just a little about me that shows in the footer on every page and the About Me section on the blog.

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