To control or nor control…that is the question

To control or nor control…that is the question

Published February 27, 2011

Every husband and wife on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says “I want all the husbands to form two lines. One line for those that controlled their wives on earth and the other line for those that were controlled by their wives. I want all the wives to go with St Peter.”

There is much noise and moving about . The next time God looks the wives are gone and there are two lines. The line of the husbands that were controlled by their wives was 100 miles long, in the line of husbands that controlled their wives– there was only one man.

God is puzzled and said. “I gave you instructions on how to head of your household. I created you in my image, and yet you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the only one of you that stood up!” Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one in that line?
The man said, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”
Now this is just a silly joke. God did not intend for man to control woman but to take care of and love her. And women, it is our job to be the helper and biggest fans to our husbands.
If you haven’t guessed…Our topic today is control. I think everyone may have a different opinion on what that means.
Let’s start with what the word control means…I consulted my friend Webster and he says, “

control
1. that which serves to check, restrain, or hinder; restraint
2. power or authority to check or restrain; restraining or regulating influence; superintendence; government; as, children should be under parental control
3. to exercise restraining or governing influence over; to check; to counteract; to restrain; to regulate; to govern; to overpower
Let’s take it one step further…what is a control freak
someone with a compulsive desire to exert control over situations and people
We all need to have a certain amount of control. But when is it too much?
When we dominate someone else, that is too much control. When we make all of their decisions without even asking them, when we have all the answers but don’t listen to the questions, when we think things should be a certain way and we will not budge from it. I think it is anytime we take our own wants and put them above what others need because we know best.
It may be because there are lots of things in this world we cannot control— just a few examples—What we can’t control— the weather, time, day/night, how long we or our loved ones will live, our health (to a certain extent) who we fall in love with, who our children will marry (although I would like to) and the list goes on…
I used to get leadership and control mixed up. I seem to naturally gravitate towards leadership roles and too often forgot to delegate and let go of the control. It has taken me years and I sometimes still fall back into those patterns, but with God’s Grace, I am moving forward. I am learning to Leave the unknown up to God and trust Him with the future of things that are out of my control and even things in my control.
I am a planner and that can very easily lead to control. I see something in my mind and sometimes have a hard time delegating what needs to happen to get the vision done.
When my boys were little, I would be the mom that had everything in the car or diaper bag or backpack that they or anyone else could possibly need.
I covered all my bases and always had a plan b, but I made sure everyone knew plan a. Of course, planning for tomorrow is right and good. But my mind can turn planning into controlling so easily. I can become an obsessive master planner that can’t let go of the issues and leave them in God’s hands.
Things we can and should control:
What we put in our mouths—we are what we eat
Things that come out of our mouths—the tongue can tear down and build up in seconds—let’s use it to build up people, including ourselves
What we think, especially of ourselves—positive and negative outcomes start with our thoughts
Our attitudes—can make or break our stride
God is ready and willing to help us, all we have to do is ask.
Proverbs 21:1 “The Lord can control a king’s mind as He controls a river; He can direct it as He pleases.”
It is impossible for us to control a river, we try with Dams now and then, but if the water wants to get out, it will. God can help us give Him control by focusing on Him.
Electric blankets—Did you know there are now electric blankets with dual controls…so you can each “control” the temperature you want…no more fighting over the temperature—but they forget that heat travels around under the blanket and crosses that invisible middle line… and if you suffer from hot flashes, 1 degree up can feel like 20!
A woman is shopping and is up at the register:
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him.”
Speaking of the remote control…
Everyone fights to be in control of it. Men just have to have it. They seem so much more peaceful with the TV remote in their hands…And what does it really do anyway…just works on the TV or other electronics…or does it??
Have you seen the movie “Click”? Adam Sandler stars and he is given a remote control device that he can use to control events and people in his life…he can fast forward through arguments, fast forward to an upcoming event, rewind to events as it benefits him, pause events and even turn down the volume or mute peoples voices. Are you thinking the muting button may be a good thing once in a while???
And my personal favorite—What is the deal with control top pantyhose? It takes all my control to just get the darn things on! What do are they in control of, oh yeah, they keep my stomach in, but what happens if fat rolls over the top…or what if when they run…are they no longer in control. If I wear them—am I in control?
I know I have been kind of silly this morning—So, I will leave you with something serious—My prayer—
Lord, give me the strength to handle the things I need to have control over,
the Grace to let go of the things I do not need to control
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Have a Blessed week and let God have Control.