Am I a nag? #7 April 13, 2012
Published
Last week, Thursday night I went to puppy classes with Sheba (of course) and my daughter. It has been a great help to me, all of us in fact, as they have helped us to teach Sheba to sit and stay and encouraged us to be consistent and persistent. Anyway, the lady who was doing the classes was not there and we had been told that it was another lady leading this class, and she has quite a different approach and quite different expectations! This was a bit of an inconvenience but not a problem. Then we found out that the other lady is not coming back. Well, what does that mean? I guess that we will have to change out approach to suit this trainer as she will be the one giving the certificate at the end.
At first I was okay with this and contented, but as we went on with our class, we learned of more of what her approach is and towards the end, when we were walking around the store (that is where the classes take place), this new trainer says to us: “There is something that I do not allow and that is repetition. You should say it once only and expect her to obey.”
Hmmm, that got me thinking and she was talking on a bit explaining why she expects this. You see, when one keeps on saying things over and over then they do not know when to listen and do not feel the need to obey straight away. It is similar to nagging!
Woe, wait a minute, I know that I repeat things to Sheba…. “Stay!.. Stay!…… Stay!………………. Stay!…. I said Stay!” (This is a little picture in my mind I have of Sheba and me expecting her to stay at the back door) and now I am told to repeat things is like nagging and it has no effect! Ouch! But she is right! So now what???
So guess what I have been doing this week? I have been reminding myself not to repeat myself to Sheba, but not only to Sheba, but to anyone! I do not need to repeat myself!
I remember my mom telling me how when my 3 oldest sisters were little, maybe 7, 5 and 3, and she called them for dinner… “Come for dinner” a few minutes later… “Come for dinner” and still a few minutes after that (and now somewhat annoyed) : “Come for dinner now or you will have to go hungry!” and suddenly 3 little girls come trotting in!
As they come in my mother asks them: “Why do you not come when I call you for dinner?” and one of them pipes up: “Well, we only heard you the third time!”
I guess that says it all! If we say it 3 times they will only listen when they hear it the third time! And why is that? I guess it is because that is when we have the “expect you to obey” voice.
So that is what I have been practicing this week… no nagging; AND have a gentle and firm voice which says: I expect you to obey me!
Good thing I have God on my side or I would not be able to get better. He is so good andhelps me in all I do. Praise be to His name.
I wonder what is up for next week. See you then!
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